It’s the night before the first day of school, and I’m feeling strangely peaceful.  If you had told me I’d feel so good about year two 4 months ago, I would have thought you were crazy.  But here I am.

Then, when I think about it, things really couldn’t be more different between now and this time last year.  My entire school is coming back with a year of operating experience that we didn’t have last year.  We’ve got school-wide discipline systems in place, and we’re prepared to get classroom culture right school-wide from Day 1.  I’m feeling relaxed from vacation time incredibly well spent.  This, as opposed to being fatigued from 5 weeks of Institute, followed immediately by 2 weeks of Summer Bridge, for which I was completely unprepared.  I’ve coming in with good materials and technology, as well a strong knowledge of my curriculum.  I don’t have the stress of being a tested subject.  I won’t be tackling a full-time load of grad school classes.  I’ll be teaching 10th graders, who I’ve already spent a year getting to know and whipping into shape.  I’m going to be assistant-coaching basketball, which I’m psyched about.
And most of all, I think the school schedule is going to facilitate teaching and learning, rather than impede it.  This year, we’ve got a 5-period, 70-minute schedule.  Most teachers I’ve spoken to agree that 70 minutes is the sweet spot of period length, and from my experience 4th quarter last year, I’d have to agree.

It took me a while to get my sanity back this summer, but I’m ready to get my teach on, and hopefully be a lot more effective, healthy, and happy this year.  Keep me in your prayers, as well as every other teacher in the city, especially our first year teachers.  My heart goes out to them!

School starts in less than a week, and I’m actually feeling pretty good about it.  I am completely refreshed from an awesome summer of travel.  Since the beginning of last week, I have been reporting to the building to work on curriculum and hash out upper school policies with the rest of the 9^th and 10^th grade teachers.  I am very excited that it looks like we are going to have strong administrative support from Day 1, and systems in place for making sure we have a much stronger level of classroom culture and discipline.  I’m personally trying to make sure I have all my T’s crossed and I’s dotted on Day 1, so that I can have a much more successful, much less stressful year.

The HSA scores came back a couple weeks ago, and I am very happy to report that disaster was averted.  Ultimately, 28% of our students passed the HSA.  This is not a number I am proud of in absolute terms, but it is 2% better than the city average.  And it’s pretty darn good, in context of the fact that for most of the year, we made due with barely half of the instructional time in Algebra I of the typical school.  I demand better performance from myself, but it has been redeeming to get acclaim from people who know how hard I tried and what roadblocks had to be negotiated.

In the results, there were some surprises.  Some students who goofed off all year put up exceptional scores, and one kid who barely showed up 2^nd semester even passed.  It just goes to show what these kids could accomplish if we could get them invested in their educations.  I also had some bright kids who put up disappointing numbers.  But for most students who didn’t pass, it wasn’t too hard to think back to blocks of misspent time that might have made the difference.  Hopefully it will be a lesson learned.

The goal now is to get as many of the remaining 72% over the hump for the next testing session.  Students who do not pass the test after by their junior year go on to be enrolled in the dreaded HSA Bridge Plan, the bane of all schools.  Basically, it involves kids being pulled out of classes to complete massive algebra work packets, and it throws schools into instructional chaos.  Undoubtedly, some of my students will end up having to do this, but minimizing this number will be absolutely crucial.

Thanks to everyone who has kept up with my teaching life. My journal will continue this next year, but it is moving to a new location. Here is the link: http://alanjayteaching.wordpress.com

I had this idea in my mind that after HSA’s I was really going to get the chance to relax. But then there were still finals, and I thought to myself, well I just have to make it to finals, then I can relax. But then I had to take down my room and watch the handful of kids who still showed up. So then I thought, well, I just need to wait until the end of school…

To make a long story short, it took pretty much the rest of the month of June for me to start to decompress. It didn’t help that my schedule stayed pretty full for most of June. The first week after school was pretty much booked up with a 3 day, full-time school-wide professional development seminar. And I spent much of the rest of the week helping organize Induction ’09, the official welcome for the incoming TFA corps members.

The PD seminar was useful, but boring. Most good PD’s you can get great information, and as far as PD’s go, I’d say this one was excellent. But I really didn’t want to be there, and it moved very slowly. One thing really stuck out to me, though. The PD is all about skillful teaching, and basically covers every aspect of skillful teaching (go figure). The book that came with the PD divides pedagogical knowledge–basically every aspect of the art of teaching–into a pyramid, comprised of overarching objective, curriculum design, planning, objectives, assessment, learning experiences, personal relationship building, class climate, expectations, clarity, principles of learning, models of teaching, space, time, routines, attention, momentum, discipline, and foundation of essential beliefs.

Does that seem overwhelming?

My first thought was, yep, I pretty much agree that each and every one of those things is a component of the job of teaching. And my second thought was, no wonder I was overwhelmed all year. That’s 19 different areas of performance, as the book calls them, and I was a total beginner in each one of them. The book devotes a chapter to each one of them. It’s a big book. People always ask me, what makes teaching so complicated and time-consuming. And it’s a tough question to answer. Well, that’s pretty much it right there.

The second part of that week, welcoming in the ’09’s, was awesome. This year, TFA Baltimore is bringing in almost twice the number of corps members as my year. And by most standards, my cohort didn’t exactly rock the house. We’ve lost like 15 people. So, a lot of us wanted to take the initiative to try and help build a more cohesive corps culture from the get go to hopefully get this year’s corps started on the right foot. It was a lot of fun. In some ways, it’s kind of funny to see the new kids, all bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to tackle the problems of urban education, not knowing what the heck they got themselves into. But in some ways, it’s also really refreshing. In any case, they just started Institute this week. Just to think, it was only a year ago that I was in their shoes–it seems like a lot longer ago than that.

P.S. I have had a number of people ask how those HSA Algebra scores turned out. As of now, I don’t yet know. I’ll be sure to post an update when I do.

Cleaning out my room this week, it has been interesting to look at my accumulated papers from the past year one last time as I throw them in the recycling bin. Glancing at all of the informational papers I received from my administration during the first week of school brings back the feeling of looking at them for the first time, not comprehending their meaning, and then depositing them into my desk drawer, where many of them would stay for the next 9 months.

I remember being completely overloaded with information on school policy and procedures and pretty much pushing it all out of mind to be able to dedicate all of my focus on the physical process of teaching—the actual process standing up in front of the class and delivering a message or lesson. In the beginning, this, in and of itself, was a huge challenge for me. It’s a lot harder than delivering a speech, because in addition to remembering what you want to say and how you want to deliver it, there is the whole aspect of actively monitoring and managing the classroom at the same time. For the first couple of months, all of this took a lot of conscious effort, and I remember that it slowed my speech to a crawl.

I also get the dubious pleasure of seeing the horrible lesson plans and materials that I saved from September, none of which is even remotely close to being worthy of keeping. I used to hand out individual, unstapled sheets for each of the activities we’d do in class, and then hopelessly try to collect them for grading, with no real plan for organizing them myself or for having the students organize them. It was absolutely insane.

Looking at my anecdotal records, individual conduct sheets, and class monitoring sheets brings back memories of how chaotic my room was at the beginning of the year (at still to a pretty great extent up until spring break). I’m reminded of what it was like to have the dreaded 901 class for 30 minutes for homeroom, 110 minutes for math, and 60 minutes for intervention, all in one day, especially when back in October when it was stacked with some of our most dysfunctional students. We didn’t lose a whole lot of students this year, but the majority of them were at one point or another in my homeroom.

I’ll be hanging on to my folder of observations from throughout the course of the year, although I’ll likely never have the desire to read them again. Some of my worst afternoons were those when I sat down to read observation reports, which were rarely flattering, and often downright discouraging.

Leaving this room, I’ll cherish memories like teaching 110 minute classes in 90 degree heat, and when my water bottle froze because it was 25 degrees in my room.

It’s been a mostly gloomy year, but there have been some good moments. It was rare this year that I was the teacher I wanted to be, or that my students were achieving on absolute levels that I could be proud of. That’s not to say that I feel entirely negative toward the year. It’s just that the real positivity comes from remembering what it was really like in the beginning and reflecting on how much my students have matured academically and socially and how much I have improved in my job as a teacher. My students aren’t on grade level, but a lot of them have moved within reach. I’m especially proud of how far they have come in terms of their maturity.

I know am by no means a fantastic teacher, but at least I don’t still feel like the worst teacher ever. It was very validating getting a flattering end of the year review. I know I’ve still got work to do to feel as though I’ve earned it. In the end, my first year’s in the bank, and it’s one of my proudest accomplishments. I’m actually looking forward to having a much better, more productive, and more enjoyable second year.

Although my year is for most purposes over (thank God!), due to extremely weird district policy, I technically have a week of school remaining. It’s really bizarre; the kids have already taken their finals. My grades are due in Wednesday morning. And yet, the students are still technically supposed to be in class until Friday. You might wonder, why doesn’t the district just move finals until the last day of school? That’s a fantastic question. No one seems to know.

In any case, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on the state of urban education, inspired by the fact that it is the end of my first year, there have been some pretty significant happenings in my district, and I have been reading a lot about urban education. Here’s what I wrote on my Teach For America end of year survey, which pretty much sums up my thoughts:

Urban education takes a focus on developing children in a very holistic way. When students come to my Algebra I class, they are often severely lacking not only in math preparation, but also in social skills and effective work habits. It is necessary to teach so many things that I took for granted that I expected of the typical 9th grader. In many ways, it’s necessary to be an extra parent.

Many of my students are not used to being held to a rigorous standard of academic work, and it has been a major challenge finding the right level of expectations for a diverse class. I have also learned that along with high expectations, I as a teacher need to provide I high level of support in order for my students to achieve.

The vast majority of my students really want to achieve, but that most of them are unaware of how much rigor and discipline success requires. I feel like this is probably the single most important thing I can teach my students, because with discipline, they can achieve in any subject.

The sad thing is that although pushing my students to a much level of achievement would be a major accomplishment, so many students graduate high schools in Baltimore only to be woefully unprepared for college level work. Very few of these students are going on to four-year colleges, and even fewer are finishing their degrees in five years or less. The book A Hope In The Unseen by Ron Suskind is a great illustration of this issue.

Many people criticize TFA for not being the answer to the problem of urban education. They argue that most TFA teachers come in to the classroom, leave after 2 years, before they become truly proficient in the classroom, and move on to something “bigger and better”. And to a certain extent, I agree. All students do deserve great teachers, and no 1st or 2nd year teacher has possibly reached their potential. But I’ve come to believe that even if you could put an excellent teacher in every classroom a low-income student visits, that student would still be at a major disadvantage. The inequalities go way beyond the classroom. I think the organization realizes this, which is why they emphasize the two-year commitment. They hope that corps members will go on to career areas where they can hopefully lead in making the systematic changes these kids need. This seems to be the growing consensus. Projects like the Harlem Children’s Zone are proving it. Still, teachers are the people on the front lines, and good teachers will always be necessary. Consequently, the issues of teacher retention and the controversy of Teach For America are not likely to fade away.

Check out these articles for some recent press on TFA in Baltimore:

“City wants to expand ‘Teach for America’ program”
by Liz Bowie
Mon, May 25
http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/education/bal-md.teach25may25,0,1460323.story

Inside Ed
Sun Blog
Tues, May 26
http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/news/education/blog/2009/05/teach_for_america_and_baltimor.html

Baltimore Sun
“City Funds sought for Teach For America”
Weds, May 27
http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/baltimore_city/bal-md.briefs273may27,0,4909764.story

Baltimore Sun
“Teach For Baltimore” Editorial
Thurs, May 28
http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/opinion/editorial/bal-ed.teach28may28,0,1892836.story

WBAL/NBC
Mon, May 25 5:15 PM EDT
Video: Play Clip

WJZ/CBS
Eyewitness News at 5
Mon, May 25 05:34 PM EDT
Video: Play Clip
Web article: http://wjz.com/local/baltimore.teachers.teach.2.1018555.html

WBFF/FOX 45
Mon, May. 25, 11:04 PM EDT
Video: Play Clip
Web article: http://www.foxbaltimore.com/template/inews_wire/wires.regional.md/3fb92708-www.foxbaltimore.com.shtml

WMAR/ABC
ABC2 News Good Morning Maryland
Tues, May 26 6:52 AM EDT
Video: Play Clip
Web article:http://www.abc2news.com/news/local/story/Alonso-Wants-More-Teach-For-America-Candidates/xEzIbS3H7EC03RCs3JPgZQ.cspx

Well, HSA day came and went without much of a hitch, and I think it went reasonably well. The students in my homeroom, which is well known to be the rowdiest, generally took the test seriously, and without incident. This from the class where I once had to kick 9 kids out during an exam for acting like maniacs. I’m looking forward to seeing those scores!

They have definitely come a long way. Next year, I just need to get them there in half the time. But for now, I get to step out of the pressure cooker, breathe a little bit, and just try to finish these last couple weeks strong.

Incidentally, I attended a meeting the become a transition leader for some of the incoming 2009 Baltimore corps members. I guess the circle of life never ends!

At long last, Algebra I HSA Day has arrived. We’ve spent the last 2 days doing a Math Field Day, where instead of normal classes, the students competed in teams in math based competitions, designed around the topics they are going to be tested on. Planning for it took 2 solid weeks, and we enlisted the middle school math teachers to pull it off, and on the whole, it was a spectacular success. It was supposed to be a low-stress math review, and I think that mission is accomplished.

Today, my students get to show what they have learned. For some students, this will be the culmination of consistent hard work in class and tens of hours of extra practice at peer tutoring sessions and Saturday school For others, it might be their chance to show how far they have come from beginning the year completely unprepared. And for yet others, frankly, they will reap what they have sown. As much as I hope all of my students pass, I know that some really haven’t put in the effort. But for those who have, I hope it shows. The entire 9th grade team has burnt the candle at both ends to try and rectify the dismal performance on the Mock HSA. Almost every aspect of my class has been redesigned on the fly. I’m banking on a tremendous improvement.

Keep my students in your prayers!

This is an entry I have been meaning to write for about 2 weeks now.

While I was out on break, far away from the daily stress of school, recovering from an absolutely brutal February and March, it really began to dawn on me how much I was dreading another year of potential misery. I had left for break on a bad note, and returning, it got even worse. I really felt like I didn’t have a grip on anything that was going on professionally. After a really rough week back, which had only including 3 days of teaching, I started seriously considering leaving Teach For America at year’s end.

I spent the final two weeks of April fighting respiratory illness and struggling to make the decision of whether to come back or not. Even though next school year is still a long way away, the decision had to be made as early as possible, to give my school the time it would take to replace me, if necessary. Deep down, I wanted to finish my commitment and to apply the lessons I have learned this year, but I just could not shake the incredible feeling of terror I had about repeating the experience of this year. Because the thing is, the end of this year would be the only chance I’d get to get off the ride. The one thing I’ve sworn never to do is to quit during the middle of the year, putting my school in a bad spot, and even worse, abandoning my students. Summer was my chance to walk away and put it all behind me.

On the other hand, when I signed up for TFA, I was serious about the mission and the two-year commitment. I never saw myself as a potential quitter. A big part of me wanted to hang around, although I wasn’t seeing how it could be feasible. And so, I spoke to nearly everyone who would listen, pretty much grasping for someone to say something inspiring or reassuring enough to get me to stay. I talked in depth to probably at least a dozen people over those two weeks, and I can distill the advice down to two main common threads: that A) my 2nd year would undoubtedly be much better than my first, and that B) I had to do what was right for me and my well-being. Well, the former piece of advice was nothing new to me, and the latter piece of advice was really leading me away from returning for year two. By the end of my two weeks, I had pretty much decided I was leaving. And then…

I don’t really know what changed–there wasn’t like a big Hollywood speech that changed my mind. But, I guess it could have been a couple things cumulatively. First off, during those 2 weeks, I feel like my 9th grade team and administration really stepped up to back me up. I got a whole bunch of equipment in my room and a lot of instructional support from our 9th grade English teacher that really helped reduce my stress. Also, our tutoring partnership with University of Maryland at Baltimore County kicked in, and I now usually have a couple tutors in my room at any given time. This has really freed my hands to do a lot more of the overall management of my class. And lastly, I’d started noticing since returning from break that I was was starting to get a lot more respect from that crucial middle demographic of the students that I teach. This contrasts with time periods where I’ve had upwards 80% of my class running rampant.

Any of these things could be a factor, but I think it was more a change in my outlook, internally. I can pinpoint the time it happened during the afternoon of Friday, May 1. All the sudden, mostly out of nowhere, it dawned on me on that if I just focus on the basics and work the kinks out of my routine, maybe I can survive the next year after all. This may seem like a “no duh” kind of revelation, but it really was a paradigm shift for me. It’s tough to overstate foreboding I had been feeling about the next year of my life.

And also, to make my life more livable, I decided I’d drop out of the Hopkins master’s degree program. After all, I’m only one class away from being fully certified, and I’m already on the master’s degree pay scale anyway. So although it would be nice to add some more credentials, it’s not worth it if it’s only to serve my own ego, at the cost of a not-insignificant amount of stress and time.

I took a weekend to think on it, and then I reported to my principal that I would indeed commit to returning for next year, and then spent some time with him discussing new ideas.

I guess, in the end, I joined TFA to make a difference in the lives of kids. I feel like I’ve done a pretty crappy job of it this year. If I leave now, then what have I really accomplished?

So the plan is to survive the remainder of the year, hopefully recover my physical and mental health this summer, and try to make next year a much more tolerable and successful year.

I’ve not done a good job of keeping up on my journal lately, although, there is plenty to write. I am so worn out after pushing these past couple months to get my students ready for the HSA, and it’s right around the corner, on May 20. My inability to keep my journal up to date is in keeping with my inability to keep my room clean, my clothes folded, and my classroom papers organized. I’m just so spent right now, physically and mentally.

There’s plenty I’d love to write about what’s going on in my classroom, some major personal decisions about teaching that I’ve made, and generally how everything is coming together for the test, but it’ll have to wait for another day I guess.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that this job is far, far too big for one person. It definitely takes a village to teach math. Or to do it well, at least. I think it can be done by one person eventually maybe, but only building on the work of a whole bunch of other people. One person can’t build it from the ground up though, which has pretty much been my situation for most of the year. But when things have gotten crazy, a lot of people have gotten their hands dirty to help me out.

Thanks is definitely due to:

• the rest of the 9th grade team, who have each stepped in and sacrificed for my class in huge ways,
• my ever-supportive girlfriend, who is, herself, an excellent teacher and provides great advice,
• my Algebra-teaching comrade and Institute roomie, who has been the recipient of many freaked out, late night phone calls from me,
• my fearless Content Learning Team leader, who provided me incredible instructional materials far more useful than what my district provides, and
• the cadre of tutors who make effective instruction sooo much easier, and frankly, less lonely.